• Ben Pechey

Negative Feedback


Oh hello darling and welcome to a brand new post, today I am talking about the negative feedback I receive and how I feel about it.

I am a vocal person and spent most of 2019 speaking out on causes that matter to me, and trying to spark change in areas that need changing. I get negative feedback, and that takes form online in direct messages, comments on posts, and a little harder to swallow, face to face.

Now, I am no fool and I know that no one is right all the time, and when I make a mistake, you know I will hold my hands up and say sorry. However, 9 times out of 10 when it comes to the negative feedback I receive, it comes from a lack of understanding, and not a mistake on my part.

As humans, we think we are so well evolved that our basic survival instincts are a distant memory so hazy that they are almost imaginary at this point. Yet the fight or flight instinct that has kept humans alive for millennia is very much alive and kicking. For some when they don’t understand or relate to a topic of discussion or a social issue, their basic instinct is to dismiss it as fallacy or to argue the opposite. In essence fight or flight.

So what has that got to do with negative feedback I hear you ask, well dear reader exactly everything to do with it. Hostility that I deal with to my outputs, is mostly down to basic human instincts triggered by a general lack of understanding.

This can be seen in comments regarding my championing queer issues, that perhaps don’t speak to all audiences, as not being very inclusive. This comment is valid because if we are vocal we can be held accountable, but essentially it is wrong, and I will explain why. Inclusivity and the call for it, is to include those who up until now have not been included. This means people who do not see themselves represented in the world, for example people of colour, queer people, disabled people, plus size bodies, and the list goes on.

If you have seen one advert that shows or represents something similar to the way you look, or live your life, then you are included, and I don’t need to work harder to speak up for you. You have a voice, but my community is talked over. So whilst I appreciate you holding me accountable for my words, please make sure you fully understand what it is you are criticising me of first.

When someone says that I talk about things that most people don’t care about, what they are actually saying is that they don’t care about the issues. My words have clearly made them feel uncomfortable because perhaps they don’t fully understand them, thus their instincts kick in and they feel the need to dismiss the importance of my words.

This is something that the mass media do ALL the time, they never fully research a topic and in the end present a false version of it. Programmes like Good Morning Britain, and companies like the Daily Mail perpetuate myths, generate rumours that the general public believe to be real, and are so harmful. This is why people like myself speak up, this is why younger people are so vocal, because we see the injustices that other generations either don’t believe, or don’t care about.

So you see, I welcome negative feedback, but know that most of the time it is unfounded and speaks more of the wider issues we face in society!

Shot by Rachel Pechey

Shop my lewk:

Dress: Glamorous via ASOS

Heels: ASOS


  • Black Twitter Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Facebook - Black Circle

©2016-2020

Ben Pechey

All Rights Reserved

Read my disclaimer here