It should come as no surprise to you that sometimes being yourself can be hard. This difficulty is increased when you have made a name for yourself by constantly creating content. I have been blogging for nearly 4 whole years, have written for various outlets professionally for 2 years, and have created daily Instagram content for the last 18 months.
Now whilst I admit that no one has ever asked me to do this, I do it because I have the urge to share my thoughts and feelings on the world. I know that my content has helped many people, and created moments of joy, education and realisation. I feel the pressure of knowing people love my content and have come to expect a certain level from me.
I often feel that social media creators and influencers are given a raw deal. The media portrays us as lazy and rule breakers, yet in no other sector does a person have to rely so heavily on themselves. As a creator, if we have a bad day, that affects all aspects of our work, no one else can perform that task for us. I know so many creators that work flat out alongside other commitments, to ensure that their followers have a constant stream of content.
Lockdown brought new strain to an already overworked schedule, it has been hard to connect with myself. Which meant that creating content is incredibly hard. Feeling so far removed from my own sense of self, having to plan content, record it, and then watch it back to caption it, left me so empty. I had to take action because I felt that I was losing a battle.
You won't have noticed this, but I took a week out from my schedule in May, everything was created ahead of time, and published with minimal input from me. It was the break that I needed and meant I got to take time away from myself. Which sounds weird, but the video content Ben is not me all the time, it takes a lot of effort, and I can't just switch this on.
I was essentially socially distancing from myself, it was necessary, strange and helpful. It meant that I prepared two week's content all at once, got it ready, and then simply posted it at the right time. I spent the time I would have used daily, to do other things. I read in the sunshine, worked on different projects, did at home highlights (thanks mum) and recharged my creative batteries.
As it comes up to the 4th anniversary of my website, it is prudent to remind you that content creation is not always easy, simple or fun. At its core, I enjoy everything that I do. The difference it has made to others lives, as well as my own, is brilliant. I just feel that entering my fifth year I need to find new ways to make it work for me and ensure that I protect my own mental wellbeing. To fellow content creators I see your efforts and thank you for them.
Thank you for joining me today my darlings, I will be back next week where I will continue the conversation surrounding content creation and my anniversary.
Shot by Rachel Pechey