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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

You can’t Win ‘em all


We all have principles that guide us in our approach to life. Believing in what we choose to believe in - sets our moral compass - giving us a course to follow. Of course, this is not something that we do in isolation.


We are surrounded by other people’s principles.




This can be hard to navigate - as we come up against people who have wildly different approaches to the world. This butting of heads, a chance for conflict, can create stress on all sides. There are of course some views that cannot be reconciled - I will never side with a transphobe.


We do, however, have to share the world with everyone.




Besides the opinion extremists - anti-trans, anti-vaxer, climate change deniers - there are so many people that we need to share spaces with. Recently I was in a meeting with someone who I believed had differing views to me - and I bristled at their comments. I was still professional, but don’t doubt a body language expert could tell.



Yet towards the end of the call - we discussed the state of transphobia in Britain, and a certain author. Not only did they agree with my points, but disclosed a trans family member, and gave a succinct answer that I would have given myself.


In the issues that really mattered - our thoughts aligned.




This is a good example of not getting stuck on some smaller issues that feel annoying or stupid. When in fact in many ways lots of other people are of the same mind, and essentially are helpful to us.


Our job is not to change the minds of every person that we meet - but instead, to find ways to work with more people - creating more nuanced change on the whole.


Of course, we can’t win them all, but in many ways, there are plenty of opportunities for us all to find ways to work together.



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