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©2016-2019

Ben Pechey

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Don't Apologise...

August 30, 2016

In what could now be called my self love series (2 posts count right ?) I want to talk about saying sorry. Why do we say that word, what does it mean ?

 

Well unless you are a Murderer/general wrong doer/UKIP supporter then you have nothing to say sorry for (I do however welcome readers of all backgrounds, and as long as you aren't breaking the law then we are okay).

 

In general when we say sorry we are not using the word because we have genuinely done something wrong, but in affect we are apologising for ourselves. Now stop and reflect on that fact. Why on earth are we doing this, and I'm guilty of it, I spent years constantly saying sorry. Sorry at work, sorry for my opinions, sorry for how I felt that day and even sometimes sorry for who I really am. 

 

I am here to say that this is not okay, there are many things that we as humans do and this is one of those things that I truly believe is toxic (toxic in a bad way not Toxic by Britney Spears which I'm sure you all would agree is amazing). When I say toxic, I simply mean that a behaviour we display in order to save face is bad for us, just like in any situation where somebody gets hurt, you have stop doing/being that contributing factor. Saying sorry is bad for you. 

 

This ties so well into my post on not being modest because we do this behaviour because we think we need to. When you feel you have to apologise for something (remember we're talking socially, things like blackmail must be apologised for) focus on you, remember that you have to look out for number one. Instead of apologising stand up for what you believe in, I'm not condoning aggression here and I don't think that's needed here. For example when expressing an opinion that someone disagrees with, say something like;

 

"I appreciate your view on this matter, but I truly believe in my opinion and I would love to work on a way that we can both be happy"

 

I get that it my example is a little pretentious but it gets my point across, by constantly apologising you are relegating your importance and the levels of respect that you get from others.

 

Warning: the next section includes emotional content, cliché laden phrases and potential preaching tendencies. I'm not saying sorry I'm just warning you... 

 

Happiness and joy in life starts with self love and one way to start on the journey of self discovery is by not saying sorry. 

 

See what not saying sorry can do for you... Let me know in the comments. 

 

That's it for this post, sorry not sorry 💋

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