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©2016-2019

Ben Pechey

All Rights Reserved

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Perspectives: There is always a Silver Lining…

June 2, 2017

Perspective is a funny thing, it’s something we all have. Sometimes it can be one of the hardest things to understand, we cannot fathom someone else’s stance or view on something we also hold a perspective on. What I want to talk about today is a little more personal, and that is personal perspective. 

I have struggled through my life with my weight, I make no bones about the fact that I carry more than some. This made it harder growing up, and I was bullied for this (amongst other things as I am sure you can imagine) I spent so long hearing what people would say about me,  that I began to believe it, and ultimately see it.

 

My perspective on myself became ugly, and I formed a firm negative relationship with my own body. I saw what I assumed others saw, that all my clothes were tight, that I was always struggling to find clothes to fit my body and that whatever I wore, I would look awful. I have learnt from my own experience that this mindset is hard to see through. My own perspective had been altered and was ultimately ruining my existence. 

 

You can only go so long before you realise there is something wrong. The silver lining that I referred to in my title; perspectives are not fixed, they can change. They can be reasoned with, carolled into a different stance. When negativity forms the basis of a relationship you can either let it envelop you, or you can defy it and see the positives, the silver lining if you will. 

Question; why do I love fashion ? Well I love fashion because of it’s power of transformation, the ability to showcase your true self through the choices you make. Fashion can be armour, and fashion can be an Achilles heel- it depends if you where IT, or if it wears YOU.  

 

I decided that fashion was my amour and the choices I made allowed me to show the world just who I am, more to the point that I loved and respected my body. Sure I have issues, and everyday is different, but by embracing what I thought was negative, I began to see it as positive. 

Just because I am bigger doesn’t mean I can’t look incredible. I pride myself with having style, part of that is knowing my body and what flatters me. Seeing the silver linings allows me to have confidence. Yes I have big thighs -finding jeans can be a nightmare- but the silver lining is that I have a great bum, which fills my jeans really well- you’re goddamn welcome. 

 

I think I look great in this outfit, I only wear what makes me happy, and this outfit does just that. I love clothes, and don’t care where they are from (see Clothes are Just Clothes), what I am wearing as a top is a dress, it’s ASOS Curve (one of the best places for great fashion at great sizes) and I think I look great. I disguise what I don’t like (my chest and stomach) and focus on my bum and legs. The silver pleats just add drama- well I have to have some fun !!! 

 

We all have struggles in this life, it is what makes us human, just remember perspectives can be altered. Seeing the silver linings allow us to enjoy life, meaning we do more than merely exist… 

Shot By Rachel Pechey 

 

What I am Wearing: 

 

Top/Dress: ASOS

Jeans: Old

Shoes: ASOS, Similar

Sunglasses: Gucci

 

I understand that struggles with negativity and self love are completely subjective and the surface use of fashion may not be enough of a help for some. 

 

If you feel that you are not managing to cope, or feel you are enveloped, my honest advice is to speak to someone. Don’t suffer in silence, whether it is someone in your family, a friend, or a colleague speak to someone. 

 

If face to face is something that won’t help, I have listed some helplines that offer completely confidential impartial help, they will just sit and listen- no pressure.

 

Samaritans: 116 123 / http://www.samaritans.org

Mind: 0300 123 3393 / http://www.mind.org.uk 

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