• Ben Pechey

Embrace Pleasure


Oh hello darling, and welcome back to Pleasure Month. Today I want to look at the things that enrich our lives, that we can all do to boost our lives.


During lockdown, I began to realise the difference between performative routine and personal routine. The former are the things we do because we think we should, and the latter are things we do because we want to. The latter are the things that hold our souls together, they make life better because it pleases our inner conscience.


I will never forget, when appearing on the Radio, I was touching up my makeup specifically my lipstick. One of the other guests laughed at me, and said ‘it’s only radio!’. I hate interactions like this because clearly, I check my makeup for me, and me alone, but also you can’t fight that kind of conversation, because the other person will never know how much it affected you. Nevertheless, these kinds of interactions stay with you.





This sentiment was mirrored recently in an article on Vogue of all places, talking new scents to try this summer. The writer of the piece heavily phrased the article under the pretence that the reader probably isn’t even wearing perfume during the new normal. Which struck me as odd, because even though I had nowhere to go, and all my meetings were virtual, I wore perfume every day during lockdown. It is odd when we are reminded that the things we do daily for ourselves, can appear strange to others.





This is an important fork in the road, where how we live our lives can be decided. One path is a life lived to please others and not assert one's control very often. The second path is a life lived to please yourself, having respect to others wishes, but on the whole your pleasure at the centre of it all.


Do not confuse this with selfishness, no, far from it. A life that prioritises our pleasure means that our own decisions towards others are based on how we want to be treated. A personal pleasurable approach to life makes us more empathetic and on the whole far more understanding.





I remember school years, where a select few members would control what the masses liked, and to be outside of that was to be banished to social purgatory. Keeping differing pleasures a secret to avoid worse bullying from my peers is one of the reasons that I really embrace what I love now. It brings me so much joy and makes up for the crap years of my childhood.


So never be a sheep, always celebrate what you love, and bring that into your everyday life regardless of what others think. Big or small, these are things that make our days brighter. Embrace pleasure for life on your own terms!


Shot by Ruth Pechey


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Ben Pechey

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