How Do you want to be Remembered?

I spend a lot of time researching LGBTQIA+ history, and often have to make judgment calls on identities, pronouns, and language based on the evidence we have.

In an ideal world, I would simply ask the people I am researching personally, but alas, this isn’t an option! I have been mulling this idea over and over, and brought it as an ice-breaker to a recent edition of Trans+ Connect support group that I run with the divine Ki Griffin.

I asked the group if you were to be committed to history’s annals, what elements of your identity would you want preserved?

Pronouns? Gender Identity Specific terms? Sexuality?

What would matter to you?

Whilst you think about that question - and yes, I would love to hear your answers - I’ll share mine…

Pronouns

My pronouns are very important to me; they signal not only who I am, but how I see myself. Image and identity are often ignored or written off as frivolous, but I would argue they are some of the most important ways we can shape ourselves in the world.

My impact

I think that my career, dedicated to making the lives of trans+ & intersex people better, is something I am very proud of. I am so passionate about this, I would like this to be remembered.

My name

I get asked more times than anything else, "Why haven’t I changed my name?” I present in what society would deem a feminine way, and for some, my name doesn’t match up to this. I disagree, Ben fits me perfectly, it’s family history, it’s who I am, and for me, a name has no gender. So let the record show how happy I am as Ben!

What I stood for

In a world where being a shockingly shit person is celebrated - yes, I’m looking at you, billionaires - having good morals, a compassion for other humans, and an instinct to care should be the default. When I am long gone, I hope in a small way, I can show people that standing for something is vital!