• Ben Pechey

Life Lessons from a seasoned Queer


Oh hello darling, and welcome to the final post of Celebration Month 2020. We have discussed the need for pride, the importance of activism, and why we all need to be inclusive. Today I want to round out the month with some of the things I’ve learned about myself.


I am going to turn 26 in a matter of weeks, I have been discussing my sexuality since I was 12, and have openly spoken about my gender identity since I was 21. I feel pretty at home in my own skin, but it’s been a long slog to get here, and trust me it wasn’t easy.


Looking back at my school years, they were the worst of my life. Being relentlessly bullied was tough, really tough. I was dealing with thoughts and feelings that I didn’t fully understand. Breaking free of this, and growing up has put distance between those dark days and my present. Yet I can always take positives from negatives.


I could never go as far as to say that I am grateful for the lessons I learnt, but it has made me resilient, and compassionate. These are qualities that I have come to rely upon daily, and I wouldn’t be without them. I still face negative attention in public spaces, and I have been subject to hate crimes, but I still would not change who I am.


My role in the community is to use what I have learned about myself to make the world a better place so that the next generation has an easier ride than I did. I am eternally grateful for the generations of pioneers we have in our community, that brought me the safeties I have in my life.



This Pride season has been a weird one, but I wanted to end the month with advice, almost what I would say to myself when I was younger.


Never allow anyone to make you feel negative about yourself. No one has the right to make you feel like that, and whether they are friend or foe - ignore their words.

YOU KNOW BEST. No one on this earth knows you better than you know yourself, and for that reason alone - I urge you to trust your gut.


We’re all on a journey, the ending of your story has not been written yet. As you learn more about yourself, you will develop new passions, new feelings and you will become stronger. This isn’t a process that can be rushed, so don’t try!



Seek out like-minded people, because shared experiences will help you learn more about yourself. The queer people that I have met in my life have made me the person I am. The feeling of belonging is so powerful and we all deserve to feel it.


It will all be worth it. There is very little use in all the traumas we have been through if we don’t get anything out of it! Being who I am is the best gift I could ever wish for, and I am grateful that I get to share that with the world.


Thank you so much for joining me today, and your support means the world to me. I will be back in July with a brand new set of content just for you, but until then, uh buh bye.


Shot by Rachel Pechey


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Ben Pechey

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