• Ben Pechey

What does Forgiveness Mean to You?


Life can deal us some hard blows. Most of these come at the hands of other people. Relationships break down. Life takes people from us. Things fall through. Plans warp out of shape. We all hold onto the negative energy that this causes.


Forgiveness is something I thought came from other people. Whether this is from closure, changed behaviour, apologies, or a show of renewed appreciation. I spent a long time waiting for this to happen. All the while I waited, I was holding onto the negative energy that accrues over time.





Waiting for others to show you something to warrant you to forgive, is often fruitless. I waited years for wrongs to be righted. I wanted closure, but by expecting others to change, I ended up causing myself more pain.


People will hurt us all, whether intentionally or not, and I have had my fair share over the years. One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is about forgiveness. To forgive is your ticket to freedom, it allows you to draw a line under what happened and start the healing process.





I used to be a champion grudge holder - this only hurt me. I can guarantee the parties that hurt me couldn’t care less - that's people for you! If you worry as I do, then these moments of hurt can haunt you at 3 am - but trust me, the other people will be sleeping soundly!


If we choose to forgive, we stop all of the grudges. We lose the chips on our shoulders, and put down the axe we've been grinding. It is time to move on!





Forgiveness is about peace.

Forgiveness allows you to move on.

Forgiveness grants new life.

Forgiveness is yours to give.

Forgiveness will set you free.


So a lesson for all of us. It is time to forgive - and move on with your life.


Shot by Ruth Pechey