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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

2019, that’s a wrap!

Oh hello darling and welcome to the last post of the year. To bring housekeeping month to an end, I thought I would share some of the most striking messages and thoughts that I have shared with you in 2019. These are just 6 of the 51 posts that I have brought you this year.

There are some real nuggets of advice for self care, representation, improving your wellbeing and ways to make your life easier. So take a trip down memory and and re-read some of 2019’s best bits. All bundled up with images of this fab leopard print trench coat that makes me feel fabulous…


I am always surprised by what people think others intentions are. I would just like to clear up any aspersions. I am very vocal about the lack of visibility for non-binary, GNC and plus size bodes. This is coming from the fact that I hardly ever see myself represented in the media, which is not selfish, this SHOULD BE NORMAL.

I also do this because I know I am not the only one like myself. I know that by using my platform and my voice I can slowly begin to change the tide, and see more acceptance and visibility for everyone. That mass media see us as anything but a trend or reactionary, is RIDICULOUS. We are here to stay and we will not accept anything less.

Those people who see themselves all around them will never know how hard it is for those of us who don’t.

You might think that clothes aren’t really ruining the world, but I think you might be surprised. With the pace of fast fashion, the rate at which we are using resources is alarming. On average the UK buys 70 million pairs of jeans a year. It takes on average 1800 gallons of water to grow the cotton required to make ONE PAIR. I tried to do that sum, and as you can imagine the number is HUGE.

So as you can see that is the impact of just jean consumption in the UK. What is more startling is the fact that so much of what we buy is discarded, sometimes unworn. I thought everyone gave things to charity, well, no, a lot of our clothes go straight to landfill. Where the materials they are made of, will never decompose. SO that’s not so cheerful, is it?

In accepting myself fully, I am celebrating the best bits of my personality. I am having so much fun. Being queer for all the difficulties and hardship that can happen, is a joyous thing. This is why Pride is so important, we have a lot to be proud of.

So make sure you are celebrating yourself, queer or not, we don’t discriminate. Love your self and your outward appearance, because it shows the beauty within.

In the past three years, I have developed a truly unique view of the world. I access this through my visual presence and through using my voice. There are a lot of people in 2019 saying something, to say something is no longer enough. There are so many people in the industry, yet I feel that they aren’t contributing anything. I am saying things that speak to people, I uplift, I bring visibly, I make people listen. This is what we should ALL be doing with our platforms.


Having the ability to look back at three years of posts, gives me a visible timeline, I can see how far I have come. It also shows me where I need to go. I want to promote the LGBTQ+ community until we have FULL equality. I want to push body positivity to the point where all bodies are fully accepted. There is so much work to be done in this cruel cruel world.

I always talk about different forms of activism, and the most simple and universal is the act of visibility. Being visible in this society is a form of defiance. To leave the house looking like I do, being honest is a risk. There will always be people that disapprove, hate or vocalise their specific issues with the way you look and the way you live your life. It happens wherever I go and is one of those micro-aggressions that I carry around at all times.

To this, I have a simple antidote that makes me feel calmer and more capable of taking on my life day to day. I often talk about music when I babble on in some of my ‘in my mind posts’ but I find that music has the answers.

I always tend to come back to tracks that made me feel a specific way. One that I oft ruminate on is a lyric from Q.U.E.E.N, by Janelle Monaé, which I found via watching the Chanel SS14 show (which is a major remix btw) :

“Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am”

This is the sentiment that I will live by. This is self-fulfilling, and just like my denime jumpsuit, will push me into the world with all the confidence I have. I don’t care what others think, my self-love keeps me comfortable.

In the past couple of months, I have had no choice but to slow down, because my well being has to come first. I don’t care how many boxes are ticked on my mental to do list, there is no point if you can’t even perform basic functions. I have no idea why I ever thought this would be helpful in the long run.

I had nothing to look forward too, because I was constantly on the go, and in reality never spent a moment ever allowing myself to enjoy a spare 10 minutes. It made writing incredibly hard over the early summer, and I really struggled. However, as a freelancer donating my work to a specific schedule means it feels like I have the right to clock off at a certain time, and in essence I am having a kinder more efficient work life balance with myself.

So comfort month is reminding us we have to ability to make sure at the very core of our being, we are happy and comfortable. We have to avoid burnout, because there is only one of us, and that is truly precious. We are more impotent than we will ever know, make sure you remember that my darling.


Just a final bit of housekeeping, I will be back on January 3rd after a well deserved break. I wish you a fabulous and stress free holiday season. Thank you for supporting me for another year, and know that I love you all lots like jelly tots, and I will see you in 2020 xx

Shot by Rachel Pechey

Shop my Lewk:

Boots: Dr Martens

Top, Earrings, Jeans and Sunglasses all old faves...


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