• Ben Pechey

Endings are Scary



Oh hello darling and welcome to a brand new month of content; December on benpechey.com is Reflection month. All month long I will delve into the topics that focus on the year we have had, and ways in which we can move forwards to a brighter outlook on our future. I wanted to kick things off with perhaps one of my biggest fears; endings.


Endings have long been one of the things in my life that I have struggled with, and I am sure that I am not the only one. This spans fear of ending a good book, ending a great series - I have yet to watch the final 3 episodes of Schitt's Creek - the fear over the length of life left in my eyeliner and so many more instances.



Which is why starting content for December is always something I find really hard, because it is the final month of the year, and I have always felt pressure (self-imposed I’m sure) that somehow my words this month have to transcend and go further than the prosaic and realistic advice I bring to you the rest of the year.


I sat and thought about my fear of endings, and why this is so intrinsic in my thinking. When I think about endings, I associate them most closely with the breaking of a habit, the way you like something is no longer a constant companion. This is true to relationships, a great book, and so many more endings. Just as new situations are hard, endings also require us to adjust and change, thus when viewed in this way, endings have a lot of assumed pressure.



One of the predictable things in life is that we can never stop time, and in years like this one, that is a plus. When you think about our existence on earth, besides a monumental issue, we will all wake up tomorrow and have the gift of a brand new day. Thus we are never stood still, time will always move us forwards, and endings can be perceived differently and more softly.


I always talk about life being like a book, and that our lives are a continual journey, and until our last second of consciousness on this earth, there is no ending to our book. Thus the endings we face in our lives, are not such a grand formality.


Depending on the size of the ending, they are either the end of a paragraph, section or for bigger events, the end of a chapter. Yet there is more story to come, which means more life for us.


So the year-end is not a scary concept, but instead a marker of a new opportunity. Sat here writing this, on a very gloomy Saturday evening, I cannot predict what next year will bring us, but I feel that we will all have moments of joy to anticipate, and after the actual shit show that 2020 was, the only way is up.



So if like me, you fear endings, and find the final moments of things full of anxiety, I hope this small set of words will put your mind at rest, and allow you to see the potential positive energy that endings bring. New beginnings always lurk with endings, and are the ultimate silver lining life can provide - so I urge you to embrace that!


Join me next week when Reflection month continues, where we will look at some of the positive changes that have been ushered in with the mess that was 2020.


Shot by Rachel Pechey





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