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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

Listen, I beg of you, Listen!

I have always been able to offer advice but never have been able to take it myself. The next step is being able to take the advice from those around you, but sadly I have always had my guard up, and won’t take that advice. Either it is because I feel I am being criticised or because I hate the idea of 'giving in’ and losing control of the situation.

This vice-like grip on my own choices and decisions extends to all areas of my life. The only place I have been able to take advice is from my therapist, and I think it might have something to do with the price attached to the conversation.

It has taken me so long to actually hear words from the people around me as anything but negative. I can’t be the only one who thinks like this, and if you have felt like this, or feel like this then this post is for you too. From what I can work out, this is an extension of the inner saboteur, the voice that whispers silky lies into our heads when we are doubting ourselves.

Of course, I know that anxiety supercharges my inner saboteur, and leaves me reeling from every interaction I ever make. Work calls, emails, project proposals, and DMs leave me vibrating with negative energy that has been fabricated by my own angst. After all this, you would think it has no energy left. However, it never gives in.

This toxic combination is not only exhausting, but it can feel very isolating. You begin to feel like you have no allies, supporters, or ports in a storm. This is why the next paragraph is so so so important for us all to see, read, believe, and feel.

This is as much a post for you, as it is an open letter to myself and the inner turmoil my head exists in most days. I beg of you, please listen to those around you who care the most. It has taken me so long to realise that the people that love us, are not critiquing us, but instead are offering help and advice because they love us, and only want the best for us.

If you have felt like this, then all I say is: let them in. The people who only want the best things for us only ever have love on their mind, there is no agenda or motive behind the advice. It can be hard to let go of this thought process, but trust me it needs to get gone! The best way to actually hear the love they have for you is to actually LISTEN to it.

In these moments, conversations or interactions, stop and let the other person speak. Use your silence as a time to listen and really hear them, and soon you will see all the ways they love you, and how they only want to support you.

So in signing off from this post, I remind you once more; Listen, I beg of you, Listen! Love is all around you.

Thanks for joining me this month, and I hope it helped you. I will be back next week to begin a brand new month of content. As always, I love you lots like jelly tots, until next time, uh buh bye.

Images shot by Ruth Pechey


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