• Ben Pechey

The Basics of Self-Care


Oh hello darling, and welcome back to compassion month. Today I want to share some advice that might help you if you are feeling deflated, low or just having a crap day. Focusing on the acts of self-care we perform to help us get through day to day life.


Eye roll, I know, but actually, it’s quite important to perform things that make you comfortable, to help regain balance in your life. I know that self-care has almost become a lifestyle category on most websites, but think beyond vagina scented candles (yes Gwyneth we’re looking at you) and bath bombs, this is about the things you can do for yourself on the darker days.


First things first, it always best to adjust your thinking and remember the facts. You need to know that at some point or another, we will all go through tough times. By all, I mean even people like Oprah have bad days. This may not make your life any easier, but you can relax a little knowing that you are not going through this alone.



I urge you to remind yourself that this does not define you, and this is not the future. This is just an outlier on the graph of your life, and while outliers exist, they are normally errors, anomalies, and often excluded from the final data set. I love that I finally have put my Biology A-Level to good use, but you see, dark days are not the only days you will have.


I have my fair share of days where life feels pointless, and I’m writing this as much for me as for you. I hope you are better at taking my advice than I am! When days like this strike, there are many things you can do to ease the pressure you may be feeling.


Going through the motions of your day can be just what you need to focus your mind. So take a shower, get dressed, and take the time to put all the effort you would if this was the best day of your life. Treat yourself like the special occasion you are (see pictures above and below!).


Try not to wallow in your emotions, because then things can spiral. I am not a fan of listening to sad songs when I feel down, I don’t think it helps, but do listen to your intuition and do what feels right for you. Try if possible to return to things you love, perhaps your favourite album, film or book, and allow that to restore some balance.


Fresh air is underrated, on dark days I am thankful that I live with my parents and our lovely children (dogs). The dogs in my life demand* their second walk pretty much the moment they have had the first one. So at 11.30 if I am at home, I will take 20 minutes and get some well needed fresh air. This break in my day always gives me the chance to refresh my mind. Having nothing to distract you in the fresh air can bring you new ideas and a renewed perspective.


Remember that you are the boss of you, and you call the shots. There is nothing worse than sitting at your desk trying and failing to achieve what you want to get done, I have done this, spent hours and hours getting nothing done. It feels horrific, but it does not have to be that way at all. It’s your day, call it off, and do something that you love instead. Make a plan to help you get shit done tomorrow, and you will see your day in a new perspective.



We all have highs and lows, and these are to be expected, but the compassion you give yourself through self-care is crucial to help you get through it all. Take your time, be kind to you, and remember above all to have compassion for yourself.


Thank you for joining me today, as always, I will be back next week to continue compassion month.



Shot by Rachel Pechey


*Although at the time of writing they are fast asleep on my bed, enjoying my electric blanket, and it's 10.47!


Shop my Lewk:


Dungarees: Lucy & Yak (I'm wearing XXL 30)

T-Shirt: Marks and Spencer, sold out

Cardigan: Lazy Oaf, Sold Out

Shoes: ASOS

Earrings: Elizabeth Whibley

Scarf: Vintage, eBay

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Ben Pechey

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