• Ben Pechey

The Element of Surprise


Oh hello darling and welcome back to the final post of January on benpechey.com. All month long I have been exploring the behaviours we can apply to our actions to help us overcome the hurdles of 2022, placing you in the best position to achieve your goals.


To round out January’s content I want to offer you a view on being surprised.


Surprise

noun

1.

an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, etc.


verb

1.

(of something unexpected) cause (someone) to feel mild astonishment or shock





It might surprise you (see what I did there!?) to know that I have always been a pessimist at heart. This is not because I am naturally a negative person, but perhaps various things that have happened to me have affected my ability to see the good in people and life.


I have created methods to protect myself. Pessimism acted as a way to ensure I felt like I never lost out, by assuming the worst I could never possibly lose face. Until I started therapy I assumed this was completely rational. It turns out this has been one of the largest limiting factors in my 27 years so far.


It took a few differing factors for me to see how warped my perception of life had become. This all culminated with a new person entering my life when I had begun to see no point in life at all. Not only did this person help me see that the opposite of my worst fears was true, but they also brought so much light into my days.





I didn’t plan this at all, and to be frank it was a complete surprise. It took me a few weeks to work against my angst urging me to run the other way, to protect myself. In the end, I gave in and allowed myself to be swept away in a surprise turn of events.


It can be so easy to always assume the worst of people, and this has been my default due to the massive breaches of trust others have dealt me. I have always assumed my anxiety is telling me the truth, that all people will treat me like shit. Yet, all it takes is one person who refutes all of this, to change the way you view a whole chunk of your life.


I have never let myself be this happy in my life, and it only happened because I let myself be surprised by another human. So if you are looking for a sign, this is it. Go with the moment when it arises, step out of your comfort zone, and have fun. You never know what lies within a surprise...





Thank you for embarking with me on this small self-improvement piece, I will be back next week to bring you a brand new month of content. As always, I love you lots like jelly tots, until next time, uh buh bye.


Images shot by Ruth Pechey