The Five Second Rule

Recently at the gym, someone commented on my weight.

“You look like you have lost weight”

To emphasise this, they repeated it whilst gesturing at their middle.

It made me feel so uncomfortable. I am no stranger to other people affecting me, but this was my first time at the gym. It made me question how they viewed me. It suggested that my body now seemed better to them, or at least better than it did the last time they saw me (which was once, maybe six weeks prior).

When did we get so comfortable speaking about people’s weight and body? I am sure they intended to compliment me; many people hold weight loss as an inherently ‘good’ thing. Yet, I don’t think I would ever approach a stranger and mention anything physical about them.

There are so many reasons that people may have lost weight, many of which could be triggering, linked to illness, trauma, or they might just not want to talk about it.

I love a compliment, and I love to share them. Yet, I always avoid commenting on physical things about a person I meet. I think it is always better to comment positively on energy, their laugh, what they bring to a room, and maybe that you love their outfit.

My gym run-in was intended as a compliment. Yet, I think we could all be more aware of how our behaviour can affect others.

When in doubt, I like to think about the five-second rule. If someone can’t change something in five seconds, don’t bring it up. It falls under the category of basic human decency, but it is so important that we don’t negatively impact other people. 

So next time you compliment or comment, remember the five-second rule.