• Ben Pechey

What is happiness to you?

Dress PR Product from Simply Be - part of a previous working relationship

Oh hello, darling! Welcome to the final post of May on benpechey.com. This month, the focus has been on self-reflection. Conversations that explore parts of myself, that perhaps you may be having too. These are the conversations that if we heard from other people, would make us feel more valid and powerful. Today I would love to explore what happens means.


I thought happiness was things. So I surrounded myself with stuff - but still felt empty.


I thought happiness was work. So I worked every day I could - but needed up resenting it.


I thought happiness was money. So I saved every penny I could - but it was never enough.


I thought happiness was doing all I could for others. So I did all I could - but forgot myself.


I thought happiness was focusing on myself. So I did things just for me - but felt bad for being selfish.


I thought happiness was having loads of friends. So I became a social butterfly - but lost sense of who I was.


I thought happiness was always being able to offer advice. So I shared as much help as I could - but never knew what was right for myself.


I thought happiness was being online all the time. So I racked ten hours a day online - but hated every second.


I thought happiness was being offline. So I switched all my devices off - but felt so isolated.



I thought happiness was so many things, but never once found what I thought I was looking for. After many years of searching for happiness, I think I have worked out what went wrong. I confused myself so much that I assumed happiness was a constant state, something we find, and get to possess forevermore. Yet I don’t think this is how happiness works.

Life is full of variations, there are very few constant emotional states in our life. Seeking happiness as a constant makes it almost impossible to find. Happiness is natural, it just happens, it cannot be forced. It can look and feel like so many different things.


Happiness is a surprise in the post.

Happiness is watching ABBA music videos for an hour.


Happiness is a great cup of tea.


Happiness can be so many things, that it can happen at any time. Waiting for happiness to envelop my life made me miserable, but allowing moments for it to filter through to my daily life has made a huge difference. Remember that, when you are looking for your own happiness darling!

Thank you for joining me today my darlings. As always, I love you lots like jelly tots, until next time, uh buh bye.


Shot by Rachel Pechey