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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

What's your pleasure ?

It’s 2020, I’m 26 and I don’t think I have ever been as comfortable with who I am as I am right now. It is a great feeling, but it hasn't been a smooth ride. I have had to do a lot of work on myself to be comfortable and accommodating of my own identity. Society makes it tough for people who don’t conform to binaries or traditional storylines.

This evolution is ongoing and it's a joy, but I think there is a pressure to be on a journey to some form of fixed outcome. Yet when it comes to gender identity and style, I don’t think there is an end goal. There is no fixed point where I will stop evolving. My biggest pleasure is surprising myself with how far I want to push things.

Thinking about wanting to do something is NOT the same as actually doing it. It has taken a long time to get to where I am, and I know I'm still on a journey with that. I would have loved to dress how I dress now 5 years ago, but I lacked confidence and instinct to do it.

Dressing the way I do has brought me attention - good and bad - and there is a big part of ‘LOOK AT ME’ involved with some of my outfits. We all love ego boosts and compliments, it’s my life currency. I enjoy the thrill of it the most, knowing that there may be people in the world that want to oppress people like me, which is a big red flag to me. So I take it as a challenge, and I do it because I want to empower younger generations to own their journey.

Negative attention can be soul-destroying, and there are days when I can’t deal with how people treat me. However, there are days when walking past my UBER CONSERVATIVE neighbors in 5-inch stilettos and a dress makes me feel so alive. It is such a pleasure to open people's eyes. To be a gender anarchist through fashion is what makes my life so fun.

If you take one thing from reading this, it is this; live your life how you want, fulfilling your pleasures freely and without guilt.

Once you begin to do this, you will no longer be held back by other people's expectations. You will allow yourself to be your happiest self because your intentions will become actions, which will take the anxiety you may have and turn that into positive energy.

It is my absolute pleasure to be me, make sure you are being your truest self too. Thank you for joining me today darlings, I will see you next week to continue pleasure month…

Shot by Ruth Pechey


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