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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

Whats Wrong with being Confident...

Welcome to the 4th post in my Self Love series. Today I want to talk about confidence, and why Im not ashamed to say I am confident.

It is probably clear to you my reader and consumer of that I am not the smallest person in the world, and its true I am overweight and I have always struggled with my weight, add that to being gay growing up was hard, I hated school and was bullied on a daily basis. However life experiences are what makes us who we are today. When I got to 16/17 I grew in confidence, partly when I started my weekend job, working in retail at christmas makes you face a lot of people, so I came out of my shell a little bit and began to feel more comfortable in my body.

Fast forward today and I would say that I am confident, I realised that at my size and at 5 foot 10 (6 foot in these boots) that I do stand out and that honestly there is no point being meek and unassuming, I am confident in how I look, why else would I look this way ??!! There seems to be at the moment a lot of rubbish around suggesting that confident people (especially woman) are ugly creatures who are over compensating and love themselves too much. The other thing that happens is that people are intimidated by confidence, writing off confident people as arrogant and avoid them.

Well I am here to say that being confident is a beautiful thing, I am not arrogant, but I will sing my own praises. If you compliment me on my outfit (which I spent time putting together) of course Im going to say ‘thank you’ or ‘I know’ and not going to down play it because I am proud of that outfit. When I see confidence in others it makes me happy because they are truly owing who and what they are.

Thats not to say I don’t have my insecurities, of course I do!! Why do I always wear sunglasses ?? I can get incredibly nervous and anxious, and you should see me when I am coping with a new situation that I have no control over, its not cute. However, I stand by the fact that when I look good I am confident, I will strut down the road, the world is my runway.

The biggest part of confidence is self assuredness and support from those around you, I wasn’t sure about the boots with this outfit, the idea had been at the back of my mind for a while, I asked my sister who said straight away “I don’t love it” to which I replied “well I kind of do”. She then changed her mind because I was confident in how I wore it. Maybe my legs are too pale and the length of my culottes and the length of the boot made my legs look stocky add a roll neck and we are just looking at overall largeness, but I felt good in this outfit and confidence is what made the difference. To that point I am convinced that boots and culottes is a good look and that everyone should try it !!

I asked a few people if they felt confidence was an attribute that they would associate with themselves and most said no. I asked why, and the replies varied from “I’m just not and I don’t know why” too “I’d just never thought about confidence being part of who I am”. I am surprised that more people are not confident, and I want to empower and urge you dear readers if you don’t think you are confident to really look inside yourselves and find that confidence, because it is in us all. There are wonderful things you can do and things you should be proud of, and if you find those things then you can be truly confident about yourself and those things. To my readers who consider themselves to be confident, well done and keep up the hard work.

I hope this post was informative and inspiring and not just drivel. Shout out to the jumper of my dreams from H&M its oversized and soft and its got a tiger on it, how could I not love it !! Also it was £14.99, that my friends is what I call a BAR-GAIN !!!

Until next week my lovelies, back on Tuesday with a good one…


Photos by Myself and the Lovely Rachel Pechey…

What I’m Wearing:

Jumper: H&M

Culottes: New Look, Similar

Boots: Asos, Similar

Sunglasses: Gucci, Similar

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