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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

Don’t confuse my activism for self obsession

In response to one of my blog posts in December I received a comment that really stopped me in my tracks. My blog post was aiming highlight a lack of acceptance in the fashion industry in regards to bigger bodies. I used my self-doubt as an experience, suggesting how a lack of visibility and role models, how are we ever meant to feel accepted.

The comment was honestly really surprising:

“Why don’t you try being less self-obsessed and think about other people more often. Then maybe your problems will be solved”.

The person who follows me on Instagram, genuinely believed that I am a self-obsessed person, and that is the root of my issue. When in fact the entire point of the blog post was the complete opposite. I am not seeking change just for myself, but for anyone who feels ignored and underrepresented.

It worried me, and I sat and thought about how to address this. Is this what the average reader of the Daily Mail, thinks about younger people who are actively trying to make a change in this world by championing diversity, acceptance and visibility? Are we seen as self-obsessed? Self-interested? Or even naively selfish?

I am always surprised by what people think others intentions are. I would just like to clear up any aspersions. I am very vocal about the lack of visibility for non-binary, GNC and plus size bodes. This is coming from the fact that I hardly ever see myself represented in the media, which is not selfish, this SHOULD BE NORMAL.

I also do this because I know I am not the only one like myself. I know that by using my platform and my voice I can slowly begin to change the tide, and see more acceptance and visibility for everyone. That mass media see us as anything but a trend or reactionary, is RIDICULOUS. We are here to stay and we will not accept anything less.

In saying this, writing it in the manner of SJP at her window, I couldn’t help but wonder how can I ever make a difference? Well just by existing, being and enjoying who I am. Which is my advice to everyone who is trying to change the world we live in.

In terms of visibility, it is no coincidence that I have chosen to share these thoughts whilst embracing my full queer energy. I am trotting my big body, in this stunning jumpsuit which the Daily M readers would lose their minds over, that’s right ladies I got it from your section, and I look stunning.

What @amybellaxo (yes I am naming and shaming) got confused over is so poignant here. By using pictures of myself, I am not showcasing my self-obsession. I am allowing anyone who stumbles across this, to see that there is someone just like them, that they are valid and they are wonderful.

Those people who see themselves all around them will never know how hard it is for those of us who don’t.

Mic Drop.

Shot by Rachel Pechey

Shop My Lewk:

Jumper: Lazy Oaf

Earrings: Zara

Sunglasses: Gucci


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