• Ben Pechey

Emotional Damage Limitation


Oh hello darling and welcome to the final post of Focus Month, today I want to talk about something very close to my heart and that is the power our emotions have over us. This might sound quite loose, but can be destructive if left unchecked, they are very much worth our while focusing on them.


I have written so many times about inner feelings and how to combat them, whether that be de-weaponising your jealousy or how to counter negative feedback from those around you. These swirling inner thoughts and feelings don’t have to be the master of you.



Do you know how most situations will make you feel? Knowing this important information allows you to ensure you don’t have a surprise journey via the 9.13 train to negative emotionville. This might sound stupid, but there is a solid stone issue underneath the humour. If you leave your emotions unchecked, they will rule you, and you will be a victim of your own thought process, which is hard to break free from.


The answer is to have some default behaviours that will protect you from a barrage of feelings that will leave you feeling all sorts of things. We are not closing ourselves off from these feelings, but merely enacting the insurance of damage limitation.


Take scrolling through Instagram, most of us do it, a mere 1,000,000,000 a month will pick their phone up and interact with the content in their feed. So it is inevitable that some content will make you feel less confident or less happy with yourself. Knowing the best way to deal with these emotions will ensure the negative impact is reduced.



I know for a fact that spending too long on Instagram leaves me feeling deflated, and negative towards myself. Thus if I haven’t moved for 15 minutes and I am feeling deflated I move my phone as far away from me as possible, preferably somewhere you will have to really think about going. This mini detox is reactionary, and perhaps not that effective, but it acts as the damage limitation I introduced earlier.


This is similar to knowing that family gatherings will inevitably lead to uncomfortable interactions. I shared some great advice in my festive survival guide last year. Set limitations with close family members, tell them what you will and won’t talk about. Ask them to change the subject, or provide escape routes if things escalate. Having plans to limit the effect of emotional trauma is key to ensuring your mental health faces less strain.



Of course, this is more labour to add to our already overstuffed lives, but with a little practice, it can have minimal impact on your strength, and ensure you are more resilient in situations that could cause you to wobble and struggle emotionally.


So bear that in mind the next time you feel emotionally wrung out, make plans to ensure this doesn't happen to you. It might be pre-emptive and taxing, but in the long run, you will really benefit from emotional damage limitation.


My darlings, we are at the end of Focus Month. As always I write to educate and because I hope the advice I offer will help. Thank you as always for your continued support, and I will be back in April for New Season Month!



Shot by Rachel Pechey


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Trousers: Skylar Rose

Heels: New Look

Earrings: Becca Jewelry

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Ben Pechey

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