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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

The Power of Saying No...

Part of the reason I post on my blog is because it gives me a safe space to ramble on about things that I feel I need to say, now I know that this will not be to everyone's taste, but it's my blog and not yours so I'm going to ramble ahah!

Today I want to talk about the power of saying no. Simple, we all know what it means and why we say it. Why are you bothering to write a post about this then Ben ? Well dear reader I feel that it's important to say no more often. More and more of the time I have felt myself agreeing with people, going along with things all because I felt that I could not say no, well it has to stop because it makes me feel miserable and that can possibly turn in to worse avenues. I know it's not just me, we are nation of yes people, that feel we must always be positive. Well no, not me, not all of the time.

I'm not saying that my default answer will always be no, I will go out of my way to help people and to do the right thing, but in certain situations I think that it is better for me and you to put ourselves first. That brings me on to one of the complexities of saying no, and that is being worried that people will think you are selfish.

Well selfish is a big statement to throw out there but there you have it. Is it selfish to put what I want over what others want, perhaps it is yes. However, I must ask you this: would the other person give you as much consideration if the shoe was on the other foot ? In all honesty I don't think they would, obviously this not the same for everyone, but you can see where I am coming from (hopefully). If saying no is considered selfish then so be it, at this point in time I am my number one consideration, and thus I will treat myself accordingly.

At this juncture I want to point out that this is not my default position day to day, but if push comes to shove I do put myself first, and I am not ashamed to say that, and I think that if you aren't putting yourself first you will realise that alot of other people won't either, and no one wants to be walked over. What I am trying to get at it here that by asserting your position you gain respect from others because you made a stance, just because you say yes all the time doesn't make me treat you better, I would respect someone more for making their position clear rather than someone who folds to pressure.

Now this attitude may not be suitable for all situations; in university, the workplace and the like. So you can see that saying no may not be an option. However on the whole I feel we have every right to assert our position and rebalance the power and respect in our own lives.

Remember to respect yourself, and others to ensure happiness.

Until next time dear reader...


Shot at the V&A and in South Kensington by Myself and the beautiful Rebecca Macklam. Also shout out to one of the comfiest outfits in my possession. Remember the pyjama-esque trousers 4 posts ago, well this outfit beats that, Dungarees for days darlings !! The only slight niggle is going to the toilet it not the most convenient...

What I am Wearing:

Dungarees: Asos, Old

T-Shirt: Marks and Spencer, V.Old

Cardigan: River Island, V.Old

Shoes: Vans, V.Old

Bag:Cath Kinston, V.OLd

Sunglasses: Karen Walker

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