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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

It's Okay to Say You're Not Okay...

Lets be real, its obvious that at some point life is going to be less than favourable to you. It’s going to be hard and undoubtedly you will feel really crap. Yet when asked how you are you will most probably reply “I’m fine”, “It’s nothing” or my personal favourite “I’m just tired”. I am so guilty of this, I hate talking about feelings and will go to any lengths to avoid it.

This week is mental health awareness week, and I want to use my platform to let whoever reads this know that it is okay to not cope, and that you can always get help.

This year so far I have felt has been extremely hard personally and I have felt myself struggling, I kept my head above the rising water with continual “I’m fine”’s and a smattering of watery smiles, yet throughout I knew I was making everything worse.

Not allowing myself to express how I truly felt, and concealing my true feelings meant that a lot of my emotions became internalised and festered making things worse. I withdrew and snapped at my closest friends and shut other people out completely.

It gets to a point where it all gets to much and one tiny thing tips you over that edge, its a long drop. Its scary, feeling yourself loosing control, and in such a way that hurts others. In what way is okay to let your own internal emotional pain spill out and envelop others. Its not, and that's just the point.

Its okay to say you can't cope, any way who wants to cope? To cope is defined as someone who can deal effectively with something difficult. However, if something is difficult why not share it with others in order to make it easier and more manageable. I'm not saying that at every given moment you should do a tweet update of exactly how you feel right now. Just when you feel the rising tide of emotions, perhaps try and share it with someone.

Don’t be scared that they will judge you, because we all go through things, we all need help at some point. They are there to listen to you, take your time and relax this is supposed to be cathartic not stressful. If friends and family are off the menu, and that is understandable then there are loads of organisations that offer free and impartial advice and are completely confidential (I have linked some below).

So it’s okay to not be coping and to say so, we all go through things, the most important thing is to be healthy within ourselves. We have to help ourselves, so if you are struggling please talk to someone, and ease the strain on yourself. It’s okay to say you aren’t coping.


If you need it:

Samaritans: 116 123 /

Mind: 0300 123 3393 /


Shot By Rachel Pechey

What I’m Wearing

Jumper: ASOS

Trousers: M&S, Old

Trainers: Dr. Martens

Sunglasses: Chloé


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