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  • Writer's pictureBen Pechey

2020, That’s a Wrap

Oh hello darling, and welcome back to the final post of Reflection month, and the final post of 2020. So far I have looked back at discovering new meanings of endings and looking through some of the positive aspects that have occurred over the last 12 months. Today I want to close off the month with some reflections from the year past. 

I thought I would share some of the most striking messages and thoughts that I have shared with you in 2020. There are some real nuggets of advice for self-care online, representation, improving your wellbeing and ways to make a difference in the world. So take a trip down memory and re-read some of 2020’s best bits.

There are days, especially when it comes to the way I see my body, I feel constrained by society's view of me. This is perpetuated by the lack of plus-size role models used by actual brands. Sure we can find our own icons, but why should larger bodies work harder to find relatability in this world? Perhaps it’s all a wicked scheme by brands to make us all lose weight? 

Well, sod that, absolutely fuck right off. In 2020, I will not dress how society wants me too, I will always be 100% me. We are talking cropped tops so you can see our stomachs, form-fitting garments so you can see our curves, outfits that layer details in a way that doesn’t even attempt to look 'slimming', and whatever else we want to wear. We make the rules Brenda, so shove your weight loss comments up your boney arse. 

There is an artful catch 22 with social media, especially Instagram. We are all fully aware of the negative aspects and impacts this piece of software can have, but yet we are all still using it, and more than ever before. I miss the days when it was genuinely harmless fun to use Instagram, and whilst we are all still mindful of what we post, there is no reason why we can't spring clean our way back to a more us-centric version of the app.

Any way that you try and help others can only be a good thing, and I want to encourage you all to feel good about what you do. We don’t all have to have accounts with thousands of followers, if we are speaking to a smaller more engaged audience, we will probably be making more of an impact. I am proud of all that I achieve, and the messages I receive from people who have taken heed of my words and have been inspired to take control of their identity make it all worth it. 

I’m not a superhero, I just want to help people, and through my stories, blog posts, IGTVs, and writing I know that I am spreading a positive message that will change lives. I know that we can all make a difference, and in our own way, we can all be activists.

This is an important fork in the road, where how we live our lives can be decided. One path is a life lived to please others and not assert one's control very often. The second path is a life lived to please yourself, having respect to other's wishes, but on the whole your pleasure at the centre of it all. 

Do not confuse this with selfishness, no, far from it. A life that prioritises our pleasure means that our own decisions towards others are based on how we want to be treated. A personal pleasurable approach to life makes us more empathetic and on the whole far more understanding.

Just a final bit of housekeeping, I will be back online from January 4th, and your first post here will be January 8th after a well-deserved break. I wish you a fabulous and stress-free holiday season in the best way that we can this year!

Thank you for supporting me for another year, and know that I love you all lots like jelly tots, and I will see you in 2021 xx 

Shot by Rachel Pechey


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